Cruel Reality
by Dragonflower
Summary: Ever wondered what happened to Willow when she returned from Kingman's Bluff with Xander. Read on to find out. Willow returns to the Summer's Residence to find what would unfortunately knew was going to happen.
1. Default Chapter

The whole room was quiet as I entered with Xander. Tears were still running from my face from when he hugged me down to cruel reality on the top of Kingman's Bluff. Buffy and Dawn were injured and it was all down to me. What had I done? They looked at me, trying to give me warm sympathy but all they really did was look down. Giles slowly took his glasses off as his eyes darted across the room when I coughed to clear my throat.  
"Willow, I'm going to England to clear things with the Coven, I think it's better that you come with me." Although I nodded I was scared. What was he going to do to me? Was I ever going to come back to Sunnydale, or even worse was I going to come back home alive?  
I looked around to what used to be my living room, friendly welcoming and cosy. But now it was awkward and I didn't really want to be there and I just wanted to hide away to just cry.  
"Will," Buffy said soothingly, "I'm sorry about Tara, really I am." Then her words became harsher as she said " But we don't kill humans no matter how evil they are!"  
"Yeah don't rub it in ok, I'm not as strong as you, you know." I said rubbing my eyes as they started streaming, and I then ran to my bedroom, which had now belonged to Buffy, but there were cardboard boxes containing Tara's clothes and mine too.  
"WILL!!!!" Buffy cried pleading for me to come back down. I couldn't that would just make me feel embarrassed. But going to my bedroom was the wrong thing to do. Everything was left the way it was a day ago. Yet there was blood on the floor, my dead lover's blood and I had killed warren just to get my own back, which was something Tara would not have forgiven me doing. With her nothing ever needed to be said. But she was gone, and I needed to be strong and work on how to get all the evil Magics that were still in me.  
Packing for England was the hardest, I found a few trousers and the warmest jumpers I had. Rummaging through some of Tara's stuff finding some sentimental brooch or something always linked to witchcraft. There had to be something harmless that I could take. I put my hand into one of her jackets, it smelt of some of the perfume she'd been wearing the day we made up and had the best night of our lives. I felt a smooth velvety object approach my hand in the act of taking in out of the silky jacket and into my shaking clutching hands. It was a small black box, nothing more, but when I looked inside, I saw the most beautiful thing, but it was no use to me anymore. A small silver engagement ring had been snugly fit in an opening fixed inside the velvety covered box. My hands were now shaking even more as I took the ring out of it's emotional habitat. Looking on the outside of the band, I saw them there, the letters of true love engraved onto the symbolic object. 'You make me complete' were the haunting writing chiselled into the 18ct white gold diamond ring. While I was trying to control the tremendous amount of tears rolling down from my shell-shocked cheeks; I fitted the glossy, lustrous ring onto my finger, it was then when I couldn't take it anymore. I tried to take the ring off my finger where the ring had suited my hand with great prominence. Someone I'd relied on for years. stopped me in my tracks. Buffy stared at me with mournful eyes. How was this happening to me? I thought that after Tara dying, that would be all I would get from her. Now I was left with something unmistakably moving.  
"Come here." Buffy whispered with a comforting tone to her voice. She could not help but to feel sorry for me now. She wouldn't even dare herself to say any harsh words. Her arms opened for me to fit in. She was dubious at first, but I gripped her hard and she eased and did the same. I felt tears come down jumper as Buffy cried and soaked my cardigan gently. Her hands rubbed my back. We broke away. "Go on, Giles will be waiting." Buffy said trying not to cry anymore.  
"Might see you round then" She nodded to this and I got up with my small suitcase and walked towards the door.  
"I'm sorry", she said soothingly. I nodded too. Then she tried to wave me goodbye, but I already turned my back.  
Xander had gone out. I knew he couldn't stand me going. He was the one that brought me down to earth with his loving words. All his hard work paid off but I didn't know if I was ever going to come back to Sunnydale again. 


	2. The Long Flight To Heathrow

Giles and I had come to California airport. We had boarded the aeroplane, I sat, slouching into my chair on the way to England. I had never been, well I had never been anywhere from Sunnydale.  
"I can't do this Giles, I can't make it." I said, I was telling the truth. "You can Willow", he said to me. I looked at him shaking my head. I took out the little box containing the silver engagement ring. He stared at me pitifully. I lay my head on his shoulder, Giles put his hand on my head. As he stroked my red and tired head, I hugged his chest, crying. I wasn't happy, and I didn't think I would ever be again. Tara was my soul- mate all the things I had kept secret, I would tell her and she would keep it. Who was I going to tell things to now? Giles' face turned from sorrow to frowning. The pilot turned on the turbulence button and everyone returned to their seats quickly. "You were the one that did all this, I'm sorry but you can't blame anyone else for your moral behaviour. Something is coming Willow and I don't mean to sound harsh but we need to get you to work through this mess."  
"I could have got married! We had such a powerful bond, I don't know if I can let this go!" I then said something that changed his mind. He softened his harshness and let me into his sorrow. He was deeply moved. Again I put my sorrowed head on his shoulder. We didn't moved until we fell asleep in the aeroplane. I woke up. "We're nearly here Willow. Now come on and get your hand luggage ready to take off. We'll be arriving in Heathrow in about 10 minutes." I nodded, I couldn't really say anything because my throat hurt from crying last night. The pilot began to speak. "A notice for passengers we will arriving in London airport in a few minutes now, hold tight for a rough landing." He laughed waiting for an audience to notice his scary sounding sarcasm. He heard nothing so he gave up and started to mutter ungratefully to himself. "Everyone laughs at home. I wish I could go back soon." Giles had fallen asleep again. And I didn't mind, but he still kept his eye on me. Even if he was asleep. I knew he was dreaming of a way to stop me from using my magic.  
The landing, was rough, the pilot was half-right. The seats started to wobble frantically as I held tight to the arm of my very chair. This made Giles wake up. I looked around, acting clueless with his head nodding from side to side. Soon, after a few seconds, he sussed where he was again and sat up wiping the dust from his eyes. "You haven't slept have you?" He spoke with a concerned tone to his voice. I shook my head. I didn't feel like saying anything. I didn't want the world to see me. I had been obnoxious, I'd killed and I didn't know if I would do it again. Xand and Buff, they didn't understand and I didn't want them to see what I'd turned out to be. I felt emotionally stressed and I didn't feel like I could live on. The lights were turning visible as we drew closer and closer to Heathrow. It was dark now and the plane had stopped moving through the murky English fog. It wasn't the clearest night ever and this was never expected at home either. At least, I hope that that will be home again. But I really doubt whether I will ever be welcomed again. I just feel like letting go. I got told to get off the plane. Giles walked in front of me so I could follow him and know where to go. This was knew to me, but a strange type of 'new' and I didn't like it at all. 


End file.
